Roget himself couldn't find the words for how excited I am about this Jets season. With Rex Ryan likely needing a miracle to save his job, all the built-up animus between the press and the front office over the past few years is bound to come to a boil. We already saw the first simmerings Saturday night, when Rex Ryan literally turned his back on the At issue was Mark Sanchez entering the fourth quarter of a preseason game behind a second-string offensive line, and promptly injuring his shoulder. Sanchez is day-to-day, but that provided all the blood the circling press corps needed. Besides the feisty presser, Mehta blasted Ryan's professionalism and called for a preseason coaching change. Enter New Jersey Governor Chris Christie filling in for Boomer Esiason on the radi…

Some people are fans of the Detroit Lions. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Detroit Lions. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: I’m sorry but that is Detroit Lions information. It is privileged. I’m not gonna compromise the work of these players and this coaching staff by divulging said information. It could jeopardize our ability to install game plans and tell you repeatedly that we’re on to Green Bay. Your 2018 record: 6-10. They beat New England, swept the Packers for the second straight season, and still finished in last place. Nice going, you stretched rectums. That 6-10 record includes Detroit getting their faces caved in by the Jets, who easily overcame Sam Darnold’s first NFL p…

Time to take a look back at our most popular posts of 2016. We have our own thoughts about what our best posts were, but these are the ones that brought in the most readers. Defensive Lineman Crashes Out Of NFL Combine 40-Yard Dash Due To Dick Falling Out Of Shorts [NSFW] Mississippi State defensive lineman Chris Jones had trouble staying upright as he finished his 40 attempt today at the NFL combine, and replays revealed why: his genitals came flying out of his shorts while trying to beat five seconds. The 2016 Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog I was on the Jersey Turnpike when I saw it. I was driving my family to New York for Thanksgiving and there, along the shittiest stretch of road in the shittiest state in America, I saw the Williams-Sonoma fulfillment center: a vas…

Some people are fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. This 2013 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the 2013 NFL previews so far right here. Your team: Philadelphia Eagles Your 2012 record: 4-12. DING DONG THE ANDY REID IS DEAD! One loss for each day of the 12 days of Christmas! It's a little Eagles fan miracle. Never has a fanbase been so relieved to go 4-12. The average Philadelphia fan will happily endure months of misery and suffering if it means someone they despise will eventually lose their job. I imagine city organizers are diligently planning the parade route for three years from now when Chip Kelly is run out of town. Your coach: Taco tyrant Chip Kelly. Can't thi…

Some people are fans of the Tennessee Titans. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Tennessee Titans. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here. 1. Chris Johnson, you are fat and shitty. Every running back who has ever lived should find an airtight rubber box, take a shit into it, and ship that box to either Chris Johnson or Marshawn Lynch. Between those two idiots, no rational GM will ever hand a starting running back $30 million guaranteed again. Cop Speed scored one-third as many touchdowns in 2011 as he did in 2010. His YPC dropped to 4.0 (after a high of 5.6 during his amazing 2009 season). Not once did he do that thing where he takes a little swing pass and then hits the NITRO button and the…

I'm not going to bother trying to figure out who's taking whom. I mean, it would be easy if teams used common sense and drafted based on need … but who does that anymore? So instead, I'm going to rank the available players based solely on talent, potential, and whether the coin I'm flipping lands on heads or tails. 1. Michael Beasley: Dude is a straight-up athlete. His size, strength, and Plastic Man-like arms allow him to score from inside (53 percent shooting) and out (38 percent from three). During his freshman year at Kansas, he put up points (26.2), pulled down boards (12.4) and showed great versatility (in the NBA, he'll be able to play either SF or PF). His 1:2.5 assist-to-turnover ratio is a concern (think Eddy Curry and Zach Randolph), but let's …

data-mm-id=”_3jsp3sm4v”>The Big 12 handed down suspensions for Tuesday night's disturbing Kansas, Kansas State brawl. Jayhawks big man Silvio De Sousa obviously got the biggest punishment as he's set to miss 12 games. But, frankly, Kansas should kick De Sousa off the team.Breaking: The Big 12 has announced suspensions for Kansas and Kansas State’s players. They are: Kansas Silvio De Sousa – 12 games David McCormack – 2 games Kansas State James Love – 8 games Antonio Gordon – 3 games— Matt Norlander (@MattNorlander) January 22, 2020You've all seen the video and the still pictures from Tuesday night's brawl. It was horrific and is the kind of thing that should never happen in a college basketball floor. De Sousa was in the middle of it all…

data-mm-id=”_2ss0fog86″>John Calipari and the University of Kentucky released a video on Friday encouraging everyone to do their part of fight coronavirus. This is one of the most straightforward and effective deliveries of this message I've seen since this started. It covers all the basics, but Coach Cal also does a good job of pretty plainly saying this isn't fair, but that's how it has to be right now.To all @universityofky students, I know I'm just your basketball coach but please take a few minutes to watch this. We're at an important stage in our fight against this virus and we need EVERYONE doing their part to fight this. Be safe, social distance and #MaskUpCats!! ! pic.twitter.com/RIUVRJ238j— John Calipari (@UKCoachCalipari) August 20, 2020″It’s not f…

data-mm-id=”_szxpc0mrd”>My son just celebrated his third birthday last weekend. In the best interest of our country, we had immediate family over for two separate gatherings. We had a cake for one and an ice cream cake for the other. We didn't do anything crazy, but we had all of the traditional birthday stuff, except we forgot birthday candles. We didn't mean to, but it just didn't occur to us until it was time to bring out the cake at the first party. After briefly feeling like I had carelessly made my kid's birthday a little less perfect, I pretty quickly realized birthday candles as we have known them should become a thing of the past.In the current climate, it is absolutely insane to think that there is a regular tradition where people blow on food seconds befo…

data-mm-id=”_ktoni875g”>Jason Day took some time out of his holiday preparations last week to talk about Tiger Woods, Bryson DeChambeau, winning majors and most importantly to him, his mother, Dening. After dealing with injuries that have hindered his success on the course, and his mother's health problems off the course, he sounds as optimistic as ever about his 2021 and beyond."Hopefully, it’s a little bit more positive than what I’ve had in 2020. Obviously I’m going to do a lot of work in the off weeks. The holidays are coming up and there’s some time to spend with the family which I will do, but I’m also looking forward to working on my swing, trying to do a little bit of change for my back. And then also start working with a new coach so that’ll be fun. Hopef…